Inside Out

Notes on seeking wisdom and crafting software

Perfect one

I think you have that spark. You can relate to things. You can wade across an ocean of patterns and pick up the beautiful paintings in those zigzag lines. You learn so fast. Awesomeness. You are the future. Life throbs in you in its fullest glory. You are the best of evolution.

But..any trace of imperfection in you weakens me. It breaks all beliefs. It tears apart the feelings. I shatter. I can't justify the imperfections. I can't justify the not-you. It is unfair. You're not that.. you're not that.. my friend. I know you're not.. I scream.. a thousand times.. you're perfect.. realize that.

And my remorse.. I don't know why I push everything, all passions just for one single entity.. how can I differ from myself for you? I am crazy.

May be you're much more than an entity. Much more than another unit of life. Much more than what I have understood so far. May be you are.. just me. Me gets away from *me* for the dreams of me and leaves me nonplussed.

That is my only expectation - you as *you*. My words are crippled, I never speak, I think they can't be as fluent as silence. I am wrong obviously. You'd say - I am bound, I am possessive, I reflect myself in you, I want to bind you to a frame. No, no frame can contain you or me; We are self-sufficient. You know it very well. It will not matter, it never mattered what the opinions are. I just want you to go beyond. Strive, run.. pick up all the pebbles along the shore, because you have oceans to conquer. Let the relative drive you.. but let the absolute be your end.

What restricts you? Why do you fear to speak out your dreams aloud? Why do you trust assumptions? You will be you when every thought and action reflects your purpose, your passion, your drive, and your journey. Every time you see the universe, you will proudly proclaim, "Oh universe, these are the pebbles I have collected from your bosom.. and they are your reflections.. pieces of you I carry as I travel, although I exist in you".

Who defines perfection? Nature. We evolve, with each heart beat, every tiny iota of matter contributes.. till the end.. things are given and taken away.. until there's nothing more to reduce. Being there is my goal.. *being aware that I am there* is the sole purpose of my existence. That is the "awesome" world. To be filled with such awareness that everything else fades away...

I adore you. You are the definition of perfection. I truly thought this would be an adventure, an exploration of you, of me.. of us. We're the means and we'd be the end. I was bound to you.. to fathom your depth and knowing you was the end. Can you be an end? Ah, just as every tiny piece of mirror is a mirror...

You're a concept, my dear.. so beautiful.. so elegant.. so perfect..  you amaze me every day. A creation so beautiful that the creator wants to be the creation. The attachment. You're not my weakness... you are my strength, you show me what I can create.. you inspire me. I can't stop with you.. I must fly..