Inside Out

Notes on seeking wisdom and crafting software

This is life...

Have a look at this astounding story narrated by a teenage girl..

> I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always > thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip > from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip > was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we > became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I > always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many > other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just > another girl…  > >

> "Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?" I asked. > > "I can't""Why? You need to study at home?"  > > I felt disappointment grabbing me."No… I am going to meet a friend…" > > > > He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was > nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word 'love' only came > out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say 'I love > you' before. To us, there weren't any anniversaries at all. He didn't > say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 > days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a > doll, everyday, without fail. I don't know why…  > > > > Then one day…  > > > > Me: Um, Jin, I … > > > > Jin: What…don't drag, just say.. > > > > Me: I love you. > > > > Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home. > > > > That was how he ignored my 'three words' and handed me the doll. Then > he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from > him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many…Then one day > came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I > pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for > his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… > he still didn't call. It was already tiring to look at the phone > anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and > woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I > felt joy and I ran out happily.  > > > > Me: Jin… > > > > Jin: Here…take this…Again, he handed me a little doll. > > > > Me: What's this? > > > > Jin: I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. > I'm going home now, bye. > > > > Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is? > > > > Jin: Today? > > > > Huh?I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned > around and walked away like nothing had happen. > > > > Then I shouted… "Wait…" > > > > Jin: You have something to say? > > > > Me: Tell me, tell me you love me… > > > > Jin: What?! > > > > Me: Tell meI put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he > just said simple cold words and left. > > "I don't want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are > desperate to hear it, then find someone else."That was what he said. > Then he ran off. > >  My legs felt numb… and I collapsed to the ground. He didn't want to > say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right > guy for me…After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just > crying. He didn't call me, although I was waiting. He just continued > handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That's how > those dolls piled up in my room… everydayAfter a month, I got myself > together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was > that… I saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his > face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran > straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… > Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by > some other girls…In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then > suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the > bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to > the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, > that… it's going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big > doll.  > > > > Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?I couldn't help > hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he > held out the doll as usual… > > > > Me: I don't need it. > > > > Jin: What….why…I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the > road. > > > > Me: I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore!! I don't want to > see a person like you again!I spitted out all the words that were > inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking."I'm sorry" He > apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up > the doll… > > > > Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it > away!!!  > > > > But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then… > > > > Honk\~ Honk\~With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him. > > "Jin! Move! Move away!" I shouted…  > > But he didn't hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll. > > "Jin, move!" HONK\~!! "Boom!" That sound, so terrifying.That's how he > went away from me. That's how he went away without even opening his > eyes to say one word to me.After that day, I had to go through > everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after > spending two months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls.  > > > > Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going > out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the > days… when we were in love… > > > > "One…two… three…" That was how… I started to count the dolls…"Four > hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty five…" It all ended > with 485 dolls.I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I > hugged it tightly, then suddenly… > > > > "I love you\~, I love you\~" I dropped the dolls,shocked. > > "I……you??" I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.  > > "I love you\~ I love you\~" It can't be! I pressed all the dolls' > stomach as it piled on the side."I love you\~""I love you\~""I love > you\~"Those words came out non-stop. I…love you…  > > > > Why didn't I realize that….That his heart was always by my side, > protecting me. Why didn't I realize that he love me this much… I took > out the doll under the bed and pressed it's stomach, that was the last > doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The > voice came out, the on that I was missing so much… > > > > "Jo…Do you know what today is? We've been loving each other for 486 > days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn't say I love you…. Um… since I > was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I > love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…" > > > > The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only > know about all this now? He can't be by my side, but he loved me until > his last minute… > > For that… and for that reason… to me… it became courage… to live a > beautiful life….  > >

*Hmm thats what we call  Life !!*

*We always have so many loved ones around many friends who really care about us and still we don't realise...*

*And may be when we realise its too late :( *

*May be this is a true story..source unknown*

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