Inside Out

Notes on seeking wisdom and crafting software

The extremes

Immense is the pain of absence. Whether I wake up here in bed, or on a train thousand miles away; looking out my window or at the beautiful Deccan plateau in the rain; the same absence envelops me. Every single time. And the heart just stops for a moment with a peculiar feeling of nothing…

I don't blame misery. Oh, the glimpses of awesomeness, you're the culprit. You tricked me. I had made my terms with sorrow, had accepted them, and they couldn't harm me more. We were friends, always together. But you crushed the equilibrium. You showed something else is there. You brought in duality. Why did you have to do that? Now, like a pendulum I sway between what was there, what is not, what could have been.

Oh Mind! Why do you behave like the man who has a diamond mine in his backyard, yet looks everywhere outside to find diamonds? They are part of you. Dive into the ocean within. Why do you search for them outside? Oh eyes, rest yourself, I don't need you any further. What need do I have for you to see in darkness? Oh ears, I don't need you either. The only voice there is silence. What pleasure can you get me? Stay away. Stay away.

There is no concept of time within, neither past, nor future. Only the moment. Just one point to concentrate...